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The Very Secret Diary of Daniel Jackson

AUTHOR'S NOTES: Big thanks to Tina Gilman for encouraging me to write this, providing suggestions, and doing the beta. Thanks as always to Allie O'N for doing her usual thorough job of beta. Thanks guys, you're both great!

Day One

Am bored. So, so bored. There is nothing to do on this planet. Oh sure, Sam has something to play with. Naquada I think. Yeah, the people are from the middle ages, but who cares! They're so bo-ring!

Day Two

Still bored. Gotta be something to do. Sam said something about a light show sometime or other. Maybe Jack will watch it with me?

Day Three

Finally! Found some crap in some caves. Still boring as hell, but it's better than hanging out with Teal'c. Boy, is he DULL!

In better news, not many people on the planet, so little competition for who is the prettiest. On the other hand, as long as Sam’s around, she’s always the prettiest. *sigh*

Day Four

Watched the light show last night. That Laira woman seemed like she was hitting on Jack. Bitch. Sam will kill her if she tries anything.

later

Back on earth again. Finally some decent coffee! Sam did some research on the meteors. It's going to be nasty. Good riddance, I say!

Day Five

Evacuating some of the losers. Not all of them were willing to leave. Idiots. They should be on Hee Haw.

later

Just got out in time. Teal'c and Sam nearly blown though the 'gate. No Jack. Oops. Someone's gonna be grumpy now. That'll make life a joy around the SGC!

Day Six

The 'gate doesn't work. Apparently I have to contact our allies, for crying out loud. Sucks being me. A bunch of superior idiots with no dress sense, the proverbial little grey men, and the schizophrenic dudes who can't decide if they prefer tan, beige, or light brown. Should be a fun afternoon - NOT!

Day Ten

Sam has an idea. Whatever. I'm enjoying not being bossed around by Jack. He can be such a bore!

Day Twenty

Have to baby sit those losers so they don't get "culturally contaminated" or something. What a crock.

In other news, Sam still prettier. Damn.

Day Fifty

This is the life. All I do is sit on my ass and translate crap. Why can't it always be like this?

Day Sixty-Two

Sam still prettier. Bitch.

Day Seventy

Uh oh. Sam's getting somewhere with that device - probably because she isn't sleeping. Where's the coffee?

Day Seventy-one

Now that Sam is looking all stressed and haggard, I'm the prettiest. Yay me!

Day Eighty

Still baby sitting. If I hear another word about crop rotation, someone is going to die!

In better news, still the prettiest!

Day Ninety-Eight

Sam wants to try her gadget out. How tedious.

later

It worked. Crap. Now Teal'c is digging his way out or something. Who cares? I'm still the prettiest. Now, where's the coffee?

Day Ninety-Nine

Apparently Teal'c managed to find Jack. Damn it! This means he's going to boss me around again. Jerk. Hammond has ordered me to take all the losers back home. Finally!

Day One Hundred

Escorted the Hee Haw folks back to their planet. Found Jack. He gave that Laira woman a hug. Sam was pissed. Hope nobody else saw her sneaking into Laira's house with the C4. That'll make good blackmail material.

And because Sam's pissed at Jack, STILL the prettiest!

~end~

Thanks for reading. I’m always looking for ways to improve my writing. Any feedback would be greatly appreciated!